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- Why NU’s dating scene doesn’t have to suck (North By Northwestern)
- All Men are Afraid of the ‘C’ Word (The Mirror)
- Hicksville student first LIer to win Sweet Million (Newsday)
- Even The Right Wing Has Sex (The Wesleyan Blargus)
- Garth Brooks ends retirement (The Daily Texan)
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Dear Harlan,
All through high school, I was completely invisible. Now I am living on campus two hours from home. Suddenly, I’ve been getting random guys sitting down next to me or stopping me on the sidewalk, introducing themselves and asking for my phone number. I’ve never been on a date before, so I’m not even sure if this is what they are aiming for. It’s really starting to freak me out. What do I say to these people?
Dear Invisible Woman,
You’re so beautiful (I always knew it). The problem with being noticed is that you now have to deal with other people’s feelings and reactions. This can be very uncomfortable. But, if you work to get comfortable with the uncomfortable, you can do no wrong. Here’s how you do it: (1) Give yourself permission to be new at this. Don’t pretend to be a pro. (2) When you’re feeling uncomfortable, express it. Don’t hide it or run from it. (3) Give these guys permission to like you, and to NOT like you. Thousands of men will love you, and thousands will not (this is the Universal Rejection Truth). Once you give people permission to NOT like you, you have the power to be honest and set limits. It also gives you the power to demand and command respect. NOTE: If you’re approached by someone and you sense that the person can’t handle the truth, blame your lack of interest on something unrelated to that person (like your studies or lack of time or personal issues). If you do go out with someone and you’re ever unsure of that a guy’s intentions or actions, express this to him. By getting comfortable with them being uncomfortable, you free yourself to focus on what you want. Life isn’t all about being wanted; it’s about getting to know yourself and figuring out what YOU want in a relationship.
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